Justice for Rosaura needs your help

Justice for Rosaura started August 2018. I had lay in bed for 2 and half months. I had lost hope. Was stuck in my grief, stuck in the belief I had failed my Rosaura. Joe was my strength. He had to go back to work 2 weeks after our lives fell apart. He was battling his grief and having to go to work, yet he found the strength to come home everyday at lunch to make sure I ate. My husband would make me drink broth. I could not eat anything more, my body rejected it. My throat gripped at anything solid not letting me swallow. August 17, 2018 was the day I started to be alive again. Not because of my own choice but because of my living children. Joseph came into my room and said, “mom I am starting school today, but its ok you don’t need to get up I got this.” His voice sounded so sad. In that moment I realized what I was doing was not fair to him and Marialisa and Joe. I had given up. I was waiting for death slowly starving myself. Sleeping away life and the pain. I lay there for about an hour thinking. Knowing if I gave up completely, I would be hurting them. Adding more pain onto their already broken hearts so I got up. I ate on my own that day. Not just the broth but the entire can of soup. I had to battle the feelings of guilt. I was still living, and my baby girl was not. I had to remind myself it is ok to live because I have 2 children, my husband, my grandson, and family who need me. Rosaura would understand. So, I continued. The silence in my home drowned me in the thoughts the never-ending thoughts. The what ifs the should haves, could haves, would haves. Those thoughts brought ideations of suicide. Not just thoughts but plans. Plans I know now, that in that dark time I could have done easily because my heart was so shattered, and I was so lost. I needed something to keep my mind busy. A way to run from my pain and my own mind when my family were not there to buffer my inner struggle. I logged onto Facebook. There were hundreds of messages. Some from people who were survivors of violence. They just needed to tell me their story. Some were victims still stuck in their cage of abuse. Some were people who had met Rosaura and needed to tell me how she impacted their life. So many people she had come across who did not even know her name but knew her smile. She was well known on 22nd and Craycroft. She was loved there. Just as she was loved everywhere, she went. The one message that helped me get a purpose was a young lady who said she was stuck. He had been injecting her with heroin to keep her mind foggy and this was the one moment of clarity she had before he came back from wherever he was. I knew she needed me. Now I see it was dangerous but, in that moment, I did not think I just reacted. She had family here and needed someone to pick her up and take her there. So, I did. I did not tell anyone because I was numb and not thinking right. I just reacted. Now I see it was my PTSD and grief I was looking for a fight and did not care about my own life. The next victim contacted me days later and I told Joe. She needed money for rent. She had just left her abusive ex and moved into an apartment he did not know about, but she was short because he took her money before she left. Joe and I used our personal finances and paid her rent. It felt good knowing that we were helping. Joe was upset that I went alone to help the first victim and begged me to never do it alone again. He told our kids and family. They all said if it happened again one of them would go with me. This was the start of our family helping people. These 2 young ladies remain in contact with me as do most of the people we have helped. The first one is clean she has her own apartment, a full-time job and is in school to become a lawyer. Her ex is doing a long prison sentence for what he done to her and multiple other women like her. She hopes to one day be a judge. The second young lady has bought her own home. She has not seen or talked to her ex since the day she left. It was around this time we started asking for donations. These donations went to helping a client and her 5 kids with rent and utilities. She is doing well. Still living without her abuser and even has her own business. Donations have helped another client be able to leave tucson and travel across the country to get away from her abuser. Sadly this client passed away due to illness but the last year of her life was happy without abuse and she had found a relationship that gave her the love she always wanted. A few weeks before she passed she said she wanted to pay it forward and donated to our organization to help someone else like your donations helped her. Another young lady contacted me and asked if I could attend court with her. Her ex was currently in jail for the crimes she had committed against her. She was scared and needed moral support. I went with her. It was disheartening seeing her ex and the ex’s family glaring at this young lady from across the court room. In my opinion trying to intimidate her. I began to block their view from her with my own body. It helped some and eventually they quit doing it. My sister and other volunteers began attending court with us. Thankfully, this young lady is still no contact with her ex. Has her own apartment and is doing well. We have worked with men and women who are prone to commit violence. Its sad to say but some of these people did not even realize they were the one who needed to change until after they contacted us. Violence and or abuse is a way of life for many people and they need help breaking that circle and seeing the truth. There is no judgment from me because I believe people can change but it needs to happen before a murder is committed. We helped them learn new coping skills and life skills. We gave them mentoring so if they were in a situation that was overwhelming, and they were being triggered to commit violence or abuse they would call us, and we would calm them down and get them back in the right mind. We have helped people who just needed a few days away from their spouse to refresh and have a moment alone by putting them in a hotel and working with the spouse as a mediator to help them come to terms with whatever the problem was and helping them come to an understanding and compromise. These couples are still going strong and are thankful for our intervention. I am telling you this because we are struggling. COVID-19 has cut off our ability to do in person fundraising. We need your help or else we will have to lose our nonprofit status. We love helping people. We have gone from helping victims of violence to helping all couples before abuse or violence can happen. Even $2 can go a long way we have applied for multiple grants but its hard for a small nonprofit to compete with the bigger organizations out there. With or without our nonprofit status we will continue to keep Rosaura’s memory alive, but we hope you all will help us keep this organization afloat. Donations can be made gf.me/u/zb63jv Cashapp $justiceforRosaura Paypal justiceforRosaura